A somewhat embarrassing trait I have had since I was diagnosed with Crohn’s in 1996 is that I have “starvation mentality!” And what’s starvation mentality? It is the fear that I might go hungry – even for a few hours. OMG! I keep food with me at all times – my desk drawer at work has several bags of nuts, dried fruits an meats. I do the the big grocery run in our household to make sure I get plenty of what I need and, since I travel for business, I’ve learned exactly what I can get (that works for me) at a convenience store or airport shop (nuts and beef jerkey) and how much I’ll need to “survive” a three hour flight. Yes its true, maybe for you as well. Ever since I was REALLY sick back in ’97 and ’98 and literally was starving to death (my medical chart listed me as “Anorexic” which I learned doesn’t just mean intentional starvation) I have a never-ending paranoia of going hungry. It will probably be with me for the rest of my life. I’ve read about people who get lost at sea, for example, and starve who stuff themselves and hoard food for the rest of their lives after that experience (read “In the Heart of the Sea” for a great one).
So what’s the big deal? Well nothing, as long as I don’t start eating things that don’t work for me simply out of an irrational fear of starving. Harder than it sounds. Maybe you can relate? If I eat peanuts, for example, because they’re around at a party or given to me free on a plane, I’ll suffer the consequences of intestinal swelling, maybe even a nasty flare-up. So I have to have BOTH the will power to say no to things that don’t work for me and the preparation to find things that DO work for me. Its a constant struggle but for the most part works because logically I know I am no longer starving and, even more so, because I’m obsessively prepared to have have things around (or can find them fast) that DO work for me.
So don’t be surprised if you see me obsessively stuffing myself at the veggies and cheese tray at some party somewhere. What about you? I’d love to hear if you, or someone you love, suffers from “Starvation Mentality.”